Sing Along With The Dad Beats!

Bad Dads
I’ve got chalk, on my face, but I cannot care
The octopus, or the shark, must have left it there
I drew a submarine, the fish were pink and green,
Now I’ve got dust in my hair
We’ll be in trouble, when mama gets home

I’ve got sand, in my shoes, but I dinnae mind
Though my knees, are a mess, and I’m damp behind
Dad made the castle wall, I was the wrecking ball
But in the back of my mind
I thought “it’s trouble, when mama gets home.”

Bad dads! (Bad dads) We believe in germs
Bad dads! (Bad dads) We lose toys in the park
Bad dads! (Bad dads) We’re oblivious
Bad dads! (Bad dads) We never learn.

I am soaked, to the skin, but it’s alright
We’ll be safe, from the pirates in our beds tonight
They tried to storm the ship, that’s when my shirt got ripped
It was a hell of a fight
We’ll be in trouble, when mama gets home

Bad dads! (Bad dads) We believe in germs
Bad dads! (Bad dads) We lose toys in the park
Bad dads! (Bad dads) We’re irrepressible (irresponsible!)
Bad dads! (Bad dads) We never learn.

There’s a hole, in my pants, but it’s OK
Cause we went, to the jungle, and were lost all day
We swung between the trees, and crawled upon our knees
And threw our trousers away
We’ll be in trouble, when mama gets home.

Dad, Put Down the Phone
It was me the made the mess,
I cannot tell a lie,
I confess that the lake in the bathroom is mine.
But Dad is too busy and Mum is online,
So I’ll sail away on this ocean.

It was me that made the mess.
Been making it all day.
And I think we should always bake cookies this way.
The cat’s in the oven, I guess that’s OK,
So I’ll cook him ’til he’s ready.

Dad, put down the phone
And come and play with me
Mum you say you’re busy,
I have to disagree.
I am more important than whatever’s on the screen.
So pay some attention, pay some attention,
Pay some attention to me.

It was me the made the mess,
Me that dug the hole,
But I told you I’d be in the garden, outside.
Told you my friends needed somewhere to hide,
To bury the treasure they stole.

So now I’m on guard,
I’m scared and alone,
The King and his men are about to attack,
You were supposed to be watching my back,
Would you just put down the phone.

Please put down the phone.
Please put down the phone.

Dad, put down the phone
And come and play with me
Mum you say you’re busy,
I have to disagree.
You’ve been playing angry birds since twenty-five past three,
So pay some attention, pay some attention,
Pay some attention to me.

Don’t Do The Zoo
Chords: Ukulele
Don’t throw the chicken. Don’t taste the walrus. Don’t cook on the kangaroo.
Don’t shock the hippo. Don’t shake the tortoise. Don’t do the zoo.
Don’t hug the donkey. Don’t kick the lizard. Don’t smell the great white shark.
Don’t lick the puppy, or suck the monkey. Don’t do the park.

You are an animal. You are an animal. You are an animal, too.
And we wouldn’t tickle you!
 
Don’t swing the dolphin. Don’t drive the rhino. Don’t bash the wallaby.
Don’t fly the tiger. Don’t eat the spider. Don’t do the sea.
Don’t paint the zebra. Don’t pinch the turtle. Don’t drink the crocodile.
Don’t blame the penguin or stuff the panda. Don’t do the wild.

Chorus – you are an animal.
 
Don’t fiddle the cow
Don’t pickle the cat
Don’t baffle the rat
Don’t mumble the bats
Don’t jumble the mice. Don’t tease the octopus, the squirrel, skunk or platypus. They’re animals just like us (they’re animals just like us).
Chorus

Don’t Stand on the Table
Don’t stand on the table
Sit your tushie down
When you’re on the table
It’s a long way to the ground
If you fall upon your head [bosh]
That will be the sound
And you’ll cry, cry, cry, for a long time

Don’t stand on your tricycle
It’s a foolish place to stand
When you’re on a tricycle
There’s nowhere soft to land
When your tussle hits the bar [clang]
You will understand
And you’ll cry, cry, cry, for a long time

When I was a boy… [spoken interlude]

So don’t stand on the table
Sit your tushie down
When you’re on the table
It’s a long way to the ground
If you fall upon your head [bosh]
That will be the sound
And you’ll cry, cry, cry, for a long time

I Will Not Crush My Baby Brother
Chords: Ukulele | Guitar
I will not crush my baby brother, turn him into jam,
and sell him at the local fair.
I will not flush him down the drain or mail him to Japan.
He won’t like it there.

I will not make him walk the plank or feed him to the sharks.  
I will not bury him alive.
I will not take him to the woods and leave him after dark,
to see if he survives.

Although he breaks my games and steals my toys and keeps me from my mum.
I will protect him from the bigger boys, when the moment comes.

Oh, brother. Don’t do that.

I will not take my tambourine and play it with his head.
I will not bash him with a truck.
I will not pick up chewing gum and leave it in his bed,
to see if he gets stuck.

Although he drinks my juice and steals my food,
and drives me round the bend.
I’ll be his backup in the neighbourhood,
when he needs a friend.

Oh, brother. Don’t do that.

Oh, we will fight and tear each other’s hair.
There will tantrums and screaming and tears before bedtime.
But every superhero needs a sidekick.
Little brother is mine.

I will not wrap my baby sister up in silver foil.
I will not make her eat a slug.
I will not lift her off her feet and squeeze a bit too hard,
when she just wants a hug.

Oh Sister! Oh Brother! Don’t do that.

If I Had a Donkey
If I had a donkey that wouldn’t go,
Would I beat him? Oh no, no!
I’d put him in the barn and give him some corn,
The best little donkey that ever was born!

If I had a horse that wouldn’t run,
Would I beat him? Oh no, son!
I’d put him in the barn and give him some corn,
The best little donkey that ever was born!

If I had a chicken that wouldn’t lay,
Would I eat him? Oh no, way!
I’d put him in the barn and give him some corn,
The best little donkey that ever was born!

If I had a donkey that wouldn’t go,
Would I beat him? Oh no, no!
I’d put him in the barn and give him some corn,
The best little donkey that ever was born!

Rowdy
Fly my up high, swing me down low.
Tickle me everywhere don’t let go.
Give me a ride, bounce me around
Wrestle me down to the ground

On Friday nights I go get my Dad
I say come on Dad, I won’t be bad
He gets me down and we start the fun
We romp and wrestle and I say “Dad come on”

Chorus

And as a horsie, my Dads the best.
He’ll buck and gallup like all the rest
I like to see if I can stay on
But if I can’t well no harm is done, Oh

Chorus

My Dad can fly me up on his feet.
I’m like an airplane it’s pretty neat.
He will swing me around and around
Till I get dizzy and fall on the ground, Oh

Super James
I am Super James
I brush my teeth with a laser beam
I keep this city clean and never ever sleep
When people call me nasty names, I blast them into smithereens
Evil-doers be afraid, I am Super James.

I am Super Jim
Doctor Doom is scared of him
I am the medicine that New York City needs
While other children play, I’m suiting up to save the day
Drink the secret lemonade
And I am Super James

Super villains everywhere
Invisible to everyone but me
Super villains everywhere
They’re at my school and on my street

I eat kryptonite
I will not go to bed tonight
Too busy fighting crime to tidy up my room
Don’t make me eat these peas
They’re poisoned by my enemies
Nah Nah na-Nah Nah
I am Super James

Tantrum Time
I’m upset and I don’t know why.
You can pick me up and hold me tight but I will kick and cry.
It’s no use, I’m gonna scream and shout,
Though I hardly know what it’s about.
 
I’m wound up and I can’t come down.
I will curl my fingers into fists and beat them on the ground.
Stand well back, you’ll never crack the code,
Of what made this little girl explode.
 
Don’t try to tell me that I must cry alone.
Don’t disconnect the phone, pretend that we are not at home.
 
‘cause it’s…
Ten to five, tantrum time.
I’m about to lose control, ‘cause I’m hungry and I’m tired.
Ten to five, tantrum time,
And I’ll scream until I’m sick.
 
My heart says it must be like this.
My inner rage will not subside or soften with a kiss.
Thunder looms from this small black cloud
So turn your stereo up loud
 
Don’t try to tell me you understand my pain.
A person that’s grown-up cannot be three years old again.
 
Ten to five, tantrum time.
I’m about to lose control, ‘cause I’m hungry and I’m tired.
Ten to five, tantrum time,
And I’ll scream until I’m sick.

Too Many Toys
Chords: Ukulele | Guitar
Give me the train tracks. Give me the blocks.
Put all the lego back in its box.
Pack up the big top and send home the clowns.
This ain’t a circus when you’re not around.

Hand me that Elmo, surrender that bear.
Stuff all those dinosaurs under the stairs.
Shoo all the ducklings and round up the sheep
This farm’s much quieter when you’ve gone to sleep

It is crowded and sad on your shelves,
Where the teddy bears cry to themselves.
You’ve got too many toys, you’ve got too many toys
You hardly ever play with all the other girls and boys
Your room is full of broken bits of games you once enjoyed.
I’m losing my mind and I just can’t take any more.
I just can’t take any more.

Somebody call for the jigsaw police.
All of your puzzles are missing a piece.
That robot’s broken and this horse is lame.
These four tea sets are exactly the same.

We spend half of our life on our knees
Just to manage this chronic disease.

[Chorus]

One of these days, we’ll give some toys away
Or send them on a spaceship for aliens to play
At Christmas time we’ll hitch a ride with Santa on his sleigh
To a place where children have no toys to play with…

[Chorus]